Lincoln's Choice
by Just4FunFiction
Summary: SISTER'S DAY SPECIAL. While watching TV with his sisters, Lincoln is posed with one of the toughest questions he could possibly be asked- will he be able to answer the question, or is this a lose-lose situation for the Loud boy? Cover art by RawToonage on DeviantArt.


It was an average day in the Loud family household. At six o'clock on a Monday, the eleven Loud siblings were all gathered on the couch- or, at least, around it, given a couch of that shape and size could only comfortably sit four people. Instead, the two oldest, Lori and Leni, were sat on the two arms of the couch, with the next five oldest- the rocker Luna, the comedian Luan, the athlete Lynn, the only boy Lincoln, and the goth Lucy- sat squished together on the couch cushions, with baby Lily sat on Luan's knee. Sat on the floor in front of them were the twins, Lana and Lola, and the child prodigy Lisa. While they would usually this time slot to watch their favourite show, 'Dream Boat', the previous season had finished, and the next season was a few months away, so they were watching the replacement show, 'Perfect Pair'.

The presenter, a sharply-dressed man with black hair and shiny white teeth, was stood next to a brown-haired woman in her thirties, and a slightly younger blonde man, who was holding a card with the show's logo on it. "So, Mary," he spoke to her, "as we have just shown, your husband Matt has five sisters- Jo, Grace, Hilary, Louisa and Sally. Before the show, we asked him, 'which is his favourite sister?' What do you think he answered?"

"It's gotta be Louisa," Luan spoke up, "you'd be a Louisa to think otherwise." She then laughed loudly. "Get it?"

Everyone else groaned at the pun. "No way," Lynn argued, "it's gotta be Sally."

"Are you kidding?" Lola retorted. "Look how pretty Grace is! It HAS to be her."

"You forget that Jo is the oldest," Lori pointed out. "Ergo, it literally must be her."

"No way, it's TOTES Hilary," Leni countered.

While the sisters all argued who they thought was the answer, Lincoln looked at the viewer with an amused face. "You join us for another case of the Loud family watching TV," he told the viewer. "Even for something like this, my sisters always have to be right, whether it be who gets the date on Dream Boat, or whose baking is the best on Operation: Dessert Storm. It's moments like this where it's better to just sit back and not get involved. I don't want a repeat of the Sister Protocol." Lincoln looked back at the screen. "Guys! She's about to answer!"

This instantly silenced their quarrelling, as all eleven pairs of eyes turned to look at the TV. "Well," the woman spoke, "I've hung out with Matt's sisters on a number of occasions, and while they are all lovely, I think his favourite sister is… Grace."

Luan and Lisa both cheered, while the other sisters groaned, all unaware of Lincoln's soft chuckle. "You think it's Grace!" the show's host confirmed, before turning to the man. "Well, let's see if you're right. Matt, for twenty thousand dollars, who… is your favourite sister?"

"My favourite sister is…" He then flipped over his card, revealing that he wrote 'all of them'. "I couldn't choose between them if my life depended on it. I love them all equally." The crowd, his sisters, Mary and the host all cooed at the sweetness of his answer.

The Loud sisters, on the other hand, were peeved. "That's bogus, brah!" Luna groaned.

"Such a cop out," Lucy sighed angrily.

"And such a lie!" Lana added, crossing her arms.

"It is, quite frankly, laughable that a man of his age has not shown favouritism towards one of his sororal relatives," Lisa expressed, adjusting her glasses.

"It's not that hard to believe, guys," Lincoln spoke up, causing them all to look at him in disbelief. "If he chose one over the others, he'd upset the others."

"Duh. That's why he lied," Lana stressed.

"Oh, come on. You say that, but I bet none of you have a favourite sibling."

"YEAH WE DO!" They all shouted at him, causing him to jump up, wide eyed.

"Wait a minute. All of you have a favourite sibling?"

"Well, not a favourite sibling, as such, but we all have a favourite sister," Luan explained.

"Oh, really? Alright, I'll bite. Who is your favourite-" Before he could even finish that sentence, they all pointed at each other, almost coincidentally in pairs- Lori and Leni pointed at each other, as did Luna and Luan, Lynn and Lucy, Lana and Lola, and Lisa and Lily. "Sister."

"See, Lincoln?" Lori pointed out. "We all have a favourite sister, and you don't see any of us getting upset over it." Lincoln threw his hands up, defeated. "However, this does leave one question unanswered-" she leaned in towards Lincoln, a smug grin on her face. "Which of us is your favourite sister, little brother?"

The colour drained from his face instantly, as the rest of the sisters all leaned in, highly intrigued. "What?" he asked, his voice barely a whisper.

"I do not believe there is any interference causing any impediment to your auditory system," Lisa told him. When she received a blank stare from him, she looked unimpressed. "There's nothing wrong with your hearing."

"No, I heard." He gulped. "Guys, I can't answer that. I love you all just as-"

"What a load of crap!" Lynn snapped, cutting him off.

"Lynn, language!" Lori scolded. "Lily's with us, remember?"

"Sorry… but you know it's true."

"You don't really expect us to believe that you don't love one of us more than the other, do you?" Lola suggested, fluttering her eyelashes.

"Well, yeah! I can't choose between you guys!"

"C'mon, dude," Luna smirked as she put a hand on his shoulder. "You've seriously never thought about it?"

"I've seriously never thought about it!" He pushed his way through so he could have a bit of space. "I just don't think I could choose between you if I did. Besides, it's different for me- you each have nine sisters and a brother, whereas I only have sisters."

"Well, if you've never thought about it, how do you know that?" Everyone turned to look at the speaker, Leni, in surprise. She blinked at the sudden attention she had received. "What?"

"She does have a point," Luan pointed out, then turned back to the white-haired boy, as did the others. "Lincoln, if you don't consider, then you'll never know. It's sister-matic." Once again, she laughed heartily. "Get it?" As before, everyone else groaned. "But, seriously. Just give it some thought."

"You guys aren't gonna let this go, are you?" They all shook their heads in sync, causing him to reluctantly sigh. "Fine. I'll think about it." They all rushed to give a group hug, but he stopped them by holding his hand up, palm facing his sisters. "If I'm going to do this, I have three ground rules. First, I will do it in my room, and none of you will enter while I do. Second, no threats, bribery or any attempt to influence my decision- we all remember what happened when I was the deciding vote before." His sisters all looked at each other and nodded, then returned to looking at Lincoln. "And lastly, no matter what decision I reach, you cannot use this against me. I love you all, and I do not want this to affect my relationship with any of you. Can you promise me all of that?"

"We promise!" They all responded.

"However, we would like to know by the time of our sibling sleepover," Lori added, "which is 9PM sharp."

"Thank you." He looked to the four-year-old. "Do you have a chalkboard I can borrow?"

"I can provide you such an item with ease, elder brother."

With that, the two of them headed upstairs and into the room shared by the young genius and her only younger sister. "While I do not care for inane human emotions," Lisa told him as she grabbed a box of chalk from her desk, "I do wish you the best in your decision making. I can only imagine the difficulty of your situation, and quite frankly, I do not envy it."

"Thanks, Lisa, I-" he looked at her suspiciously. "You're not trying to sway me, are you?"

She shook her head. "Negative- I gave you my word not to influence your decision. As such, I shall stick to it."

"Oh. Well, thanks. I'll see you at the sleepover."

With that, he took the box of chalk, and wheeled the chalkboard out of her room, across the landing and into his own. Once the door was shut and locked, he groaned as he threw himself against the bed. "Why meeeeeeee?"

" _Lincoln? Lincoln? Do you copy? Over."_

Lincoln stood up and grabbed his walker from the desk. "This is Lincoln. Over."

" _You ready to go online?"_

"Online?" A beat later, he realised what Clyde meant. "Oh! Sorry, Clyde, I can't. I have a code sapphire."

" _Sapphire? Hmm, don't remember that one. Hold on a second."_ Lincoln could clearly hear Clyde flicking through the pages of a notebook. _"Sapphire… Sapphire… ah, here we go. Sapphire means your sisters have… forced you into answering a question you don't want to answer?"_ Clyde sounded confused as he read that out loud. _"Is it that bad?"_

"I think we should call this an Ultra Sapphire question. My sisters are making me decide who my favourite sister is."

" _Ooh! That is bad."_ Despite knowing Clyde couldn't see him, Lincoln nodded. _"What did you tell them?"_

"I told them I couldn't choose, but they didn't believe me, and they're giving me until nine o'clock to give them an answer. I really don't want to choose between them, but they're not really giving me a choice!"

" _Hmm… well, you know what my answer would be-"_

"You're never going to get over Lori, are you?"

" _Nope!"_ Lincoln groaned- his persistence was admirable, but his density was definitely not. _"Well, since you've only got one option, which is to do what your sisters ask you to, why don't you write down their pros and cons to help you decide?"_

"I'd say I have a plan to get out of this, but I don't. Alright, let's try it."

" _Alright. Let's start with Lori since she's the oldest."_

"You sure you're not saying that because of your crush on her?" Lincoln joked, pulling a piece of chalk out of the pack. "Kidding, kidding. Alright, let's start with Lori."

* * *

It was now nine o'clock, and all ten loud sisters were in their nightwear with their sleeping bags, waiting in Lori's room for their brother to arrive. The question they had posed to the white-haired Loud has been on their minds for the past few hours, and they were all eager to find out the answer.

"Where is he?" Lola moaned, putting her hands on her hips.

"That twerp had better get here soon, or I'll literally turn him into a human pretzel," Lori grumbled.

"Relax, sisters," Lisa spoke up. "Lincoln is not only aware of the situation, but the severity of the backlash should he fail to appear." She looked at her watch. "Therefore, I deduce his arrival will take place in five… four… three… two… one…"

They all turned to look at the door when they heard a knock. Leni got up and opened it, seeing Lincoln in his orange pyjamas. "Linky! You made it!" She squealed, hugging him tightly.

"Can't… breathe…" He choked out, gasping for air when she let him go. "Thanks."

"Have you reached a decision?" Lucy spoke up, her monotone voice making her sound like a judge in court.

"I have." All ten sisters looked at him eagerly in anticipation. "Before I tell you, I need you to close your eyes."

"Why?" Lana asked, tilting her head slightly.

"Well, I need to explain how I got to my decision, and I don't want anyone peeking while I bring in the chalkboard I asked for. Can you do that for me?" Reluctantly, they accepted, covering their eyes with their hands. "I'll tell you when you can open them. Wait here." He then exited the room, leaving the door open so he could wheel the chalkboard into the room. Once he was certain they wouldn't see the answer on the other side, he turned to them. "And… open them!"

All of his sisters uncovered their eyes, but Leni's eyes were still shut. "OMGosh- I've gone blind!"

Everyone facepalmed. "Leni, your eyes are shut," Lori explained.

"Oh."

She opened her eyes, and everyone turned to look at the chalkboard, squinting in confusion when it looked like random scribbles. "So… What are we looking at?" Lynn asked.

"Well, I wasn't sure how to go about this. Thankfully, Clyde just so happened to call while K was thinking, and helped me decide by suggesting I compare the things I love about you guys, and the things that… let's just say I'm less fond of." They all opened their mouths to speak. "I know you all have a list like that about me, don't pretend otherwise." This got them all to shut their mouths. "Okay, so I'm going to go through this one sister at a time."

"Lori," he started, looking at the oldest. "You can be quite bossy at times, and you spend too much time on your phone, but you're the only one who knows how to stop us from going too far, and you're someone I think we all look up to."

She beamed proudly, while Lincoln turned to the fashionista. "Leni, while there are times where you can be a bit ditzy, and can be a bit forgetful, you're also the sweetest person I know, and you always know when someone needs comforting."

"Aww, Linky!" She squealed again. "I think you're the sweetest."

He blushed a little, but continued to turn to the rocker. "Luna, you definitely put the Loud in Loud family. You might sometimes not realise just how loud you're being, and your fake British accent might get on my nerves a bit, but you're the coolest older sister a guy could ask for, and I know you're going to be one of the greatest rockers of all time."

"Dude… you're too much for words, bro," Luna told him, her heart having melted.

His smile grew. "Luan," he said to the comedian, "you go way too far on Pranksgiving, and we do groan at your puns, but no one makes us laugh harder than you, and whenever someone needs cheering up, you're the first one there."

She blushed, her toothy smile showing off her braces. "I'd say a joke right now, but that's too sweet for me to make one."

He then turned to the family athlete. "Lynn, your competitive nature does sometimes cloud your judgment, and you do get too rough sometimes, but you know how to push us to be the best we can be, and I do enjoy playing sports casually with you, rather than turning it into a competition."

"Well, that's because you're the best training partner, Link," she admitted.

"Thanks." He turned to the next oldest sister. "Lucy, you scare the life out of us every day, and you do sigh a lot, but it's always fun helping you with your poetry, and you make Halloween so much more awesome."

"It's the one nights where the spirits can roam free," she told him, a small smile on her lips. "It's the least I can do."

"And I'm sure they appreciate it." Next, he turned to the tomboy. "Lana, I think it's gross when you eat trash or used gum, and your animals do sometimes get loose, but you take good care of them too, and it's thanks to you the house still works properly."

"All in a day's work," she replied, smirking.

"Lola," he said to the pageant queen, "you can be a bit snooty at times, and your anger streak is something to be feared, but you don't take us for granted, especially when it comes to us helping you to prepare for pageants."

"Well… you do do a lot for me, Lincoln," she said, whilst smiling shyly and rubbing her arm.

He gave a soft chuckle before turning to the toddler genius. "Lisa, you do sometimes treat us like colleagues rather than family, and we aren't fond of being your guinea pigs, but you know how to support us and show you care where it really counts, and we are all grateful for your tutoring."

"While it is true that I don't care for inane human emotions," Lisa confessed, "I will be honest- your words mean a lot to me, brother."

He nodded, then kneeled down to look at his baby sister. "And Lily, while you stink the place up worse than a sewage plant, and I don't always understand what you're saying, you're the cutest little baby around, and I look forward to watching you grow up."

Everyone couldn't help but smile as Lily giggled at this, before watching Lincoln stand back up. "I've been going back and forth between each of you, trying to reach a decision, my mind changing so much it makes my head spin… but, in the end, I keep coming back to one answer." All of his sisters crossed their fingers- or, in Lily's case, tried to- as he placed a hand on the top of the chalkboard. "My answer is…"

They all watched as he flipped the whiteboard over, revealing that he had written, in chalk, 'all of my sisters'. "Seriously?!" Lynn groaned, everyone's smiles dropping.

"I know it seems like a cop out to you, but to me, it's the only answer that makes sense. There are moments where I'd rather be around some of you, and other moments where

I'd rather be with different sisters. You meddle in my life way too much, but I can't deny that you've helped me out more times than I probably deserve. And while each of you has some way that you annoy me… there isn't one of you that I could imagine my life without." He frowned, looking down at his feet. "Sorry if it's not that good of an answer, but… I don't lnow what else to say, it's too hard to choose between you. I love you all too much to do that."

He didn't look up, fearful of their reaction. He heard them move towards him, all ten sisters stood around him, so he squinted his eyes shut… before opening them when he realised that they were hugging him.

"Lincoln, we didn't want to make you uncomfortable," Luan told him. "We just wanted to see how you really feel."

"And yeah, that guy on TV was probably lying," Lynn added, "but we're pretty certain that you're telling the truth."

"You mean it?" Lincoln asked, looking around to see them all nodding in response.

"You're too kindhearted to lie about this, big brother," Lana answered.

"Besides, we can tell when you're lying pretty easily," Lola added, much to everyone's amusement.

"And don't worry," Lori then explained, "we won't ask you about this again."

"Because you're our favourite brother," Leni spoke up.

"But, I'm your only brother," he pointed out.

Luna smirked. "Doesn't mean a thing, little bro," she argued, before kissing him on the cheek.

He blushed heavily. "Luna…"

"Ooh… is our little Lincoln embarrassed by being kissed by his sisters?" Lori teased, as the ten girls adopted mischievous grins.

"Uh… no?"

They could all tell he was lying by how skittish he looked. "Your nervous disposition seems to suggest otherwise," Lisa taunted.

"I-I-I don't know what you're talking about."

He tried to push through, but Luan held her arm out to stop him. "Oh, but I think you do."

"And I think there's only one way to prove it," Leni suggested.

"GET HIM!" Lynn shouted, and they all tackled him to the ground, smothering him with kisses of sisterly love to his face, and all Lincoln could do was pretend to struggle while he laughed hysterically. He was at their mercy, and they refused to let him go.

"UNCLE! UNCLE!" He shouted between laughter, finally getting a reprieve from their 'torture'. They gave him space, so that he could regain his breath while his laughter slowly died down, tears still in his eyes. It took him a good ten seconds, but he eventually sat up, wiped away the tears, and smiled at his sisters. "I love you guys." They all returned the sentiment in their own words. "Now, what do you say we get this sleepover started?"

"YEAH!"

* * *

It was after a couple of hours of fun- although, if you asked Lincoln, he would have preferred not to have his nails painted too- when they decided to call it a night, given that it was a school night. Having said goodnight to each other, his sisters were now fast asleep. Lincoln, while he was feeling tired, looked over at the viewer. "Well," he whispered, "it's been one heck of a night. I'll admit, I was worried that I would end up upsetting my sisters. If there's one thing that makes me upset, it's seeing my sisters unhappy. But, that's part of having sisters- even when they get on your nerves, you can't help but love them." He smiled. "And they love you too." He laid his head against his pillow, closed his eyes, and told the viewer "good night", before going to sleep.

 **HAPPY SISTERS DAY!**


End file.
